Look here, brother… Don’t you waste your time on me.
I’ll be honest, I made a custom card of Twins pitcher Cole DeVries just to give me an excuse to write parody song lyrics about him.
The post title is based on the Frank Zappa song “Cosmik Debris”; if Southern Rock is more your thing, there’s always this Lynyrd Skynyrd classic:
They call me DeVries, I keep blowin’ down the road…
…and I hope like hell that the Orioles announcers were correct when they pronounced his name as if it rhymes with “degrees”, because I’m gonna feel like an idiot otherwise. Yes, I realize that I am an idiot, but I don’t like to feel like one. Important distinction, there.
Wooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooo!… Cole DeVries!