Rage Against The (Coke) Machine

Have you seen these Coca-Cola Freestyle machines?  Those high-tech wonders of the 21st Century, those fantastic, futuristic, touch-screen-equipped soda dispensers which allow you to select any of 100+ flavors?

2013 Gintfunkel Coke Freestyle

I cannot stand the monkey-fightin’ things.

Sure, they’re great if you like to shake things up, add a little lime flavoring to your Coke Zero, but more often than not, I just want a Coke.  Plain, simple Coke.  The stuff that’s been around for over 125 years.

For those of us who just want a Coke, the Freestyle machine is Satan’s Drink Dispenser.

At a conventional soda dispenser you walk up, shove your cup under the Coke dispenser and when your cup is full, you’re done.  If it’s overly fizzy you wait a few seconds for the fizz to die down, and shove your cup under the Coke dispenser again.

While you’re doing this, someone else who wants Sprite can shove their cup under the Sprite dispenser, and you can have several people get their drinks in a matter of seconds.

The Freestyle machine?  You set your cup down in the machine, touch the screen to activate it, touch the screen to select the Coke products, touch the screen to select Coca-Cola, and then press the dispensing button.  If your soda is overly fizzy – which is usually the case – you wait for the fizz to die down, but by then the screen has timed-out so you have to touch the screen to activate it, touch the screen to select the Coke products, touch the screen to select Coca-Cola…

Annoying as it is to use, it’s even more annoying to wait while someone else goes through all of those steps… And it quickly turns to “infuriating” when one is stuck behind doting parents trying to talk their small child through the myriad of choices.

Hunter, what kind of drink do you want?  Do you want a Coke?

Do you want a Cherry Coke?

Do you want a Lime Coke?

Do you want an Orange Coke?

The machine dispenses one and only one drink at a time, so there’s no option other than to stand there and wait for Hunter to decide what he wants to drink.

Am I alone in this, or is there anyone else who rolls their eyes and curses the Coca-Cola Company for gracing us with this technological marvel designed  to perform the extremely complex task of filling my cup with Coke?

…Or, if you, you know, like the Freestyle machines, that’s cool too…


Sorry about the rant,  I’ll be back on-topic tomorrow.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Rage Against The (Coke) Machine

  1. Personally I enjoy them right now, but I haven’t had to wait for Hunter. When that day comes odds are I will end up like you cursing the day that machine was created.

  2. I’ve only seen these a few times… and the one time I used it, I loved it. I had some Peach Fanta and it was flippin’ amazing. However… I didn’t have to wait behind anyone… which I totally would have found annoying.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s