Have you seen these Coca-Cola Freestyle machines? Those high-tech wonders of the 21st Century, those fantastic, futuristic, touch-screen-equipped soda dispensers which allow you to select any of 100+ flavors?
I cannot stand the monkey-fightin’ things.
Sure, they’re great if you like to shake things up, add a little lime flavoring to your Coke Zero, but more often than not, I just want a Coke. Plain, simple Coke. The stuff that’s been around for over 125 years.
For those of us who just want a Coke, the Freestyle machine is Satan’s Drink Dispenser.
At a conventional soda dispenser you walk up, shove your cup under the Coke dispenser and when your cup is full, you’re done. If it’s overly fizzy you wait a few seconds for the fizz to die down, and shove your cup under the Coke dispenser again.
While you’re doing this, someone else who wants Sprite can shove their cup under the Sprite dispenser, and you can have several people get their drinks in a matter of seconds.
The Freestyle machine? You set your cup down in the machine, touch the screen to activate it, touch the screen to select the Coke products, touch the screen to select Coca-Cola, and then press the dispensing button. If your soda is overly fizzy – which is usually the case – you wait for the fizz to die down, but by then the screen has timed-out so you have to touch the screen to activate it, touch the screen to select the Coke products, touch the screen to select Coca-Cola…
Annoying as it is to use, it’s even more annoying to wait while someone else goes through all of those steps… And it quickly turns to “infuriating” when one is stuck behind doting parents trying to talk their small child through the myriad of choices.
Hunter, what kind of drink do you want? Do you want a Coke?
Do you want a Cherry Coke?
Do you want a Lime Coke?
Do you want an Orange Coke?
The machine dispenses one and only one drink at a time, so there’s no option other than to stand there and wait for Hunter to decide what he wants to drink.
Am I alone in this, or is there anyone else who rolls their eyes and curses the Coca-Cola Company for gracing us with this technological marvel designed to perform the extremely complex task of filling my cup with Coke?
…Or, if you, you know, like the Freestyle machines, that’s cool too…
Sorry about the rant, I’ll be back on-topic tomorrow.