Pack Animal! – 2014 Panini NFL Stickers

…Or Cromos Adhesivos, as the back of the pack so exotically describes them….

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…Yesterday I was in a store buying a bottle of Coke, and I saw these nearby.  You know how sometimes in old movies they’ll show something written in a foreign language, and the text will blur out and be replaced by the English translation?  Well, when I saw the display containing these stickers, the words on the shelf blurred out and were replaced by “Blog post subject:  $1”.

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I did not buy the album, so we’re missing some context here.  Bothersome things, those contexts.

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…but context would’ve been good for me here, because for my first sticker I’m left saying “Super Bowl… Some guy on the Seahawks…. Ummm…”

I won’t bother scanning it, but the back of the sticker promotes a contest where you can win a trip to Super Bowl XLIX.  “XLIX”?  If I’m not mistaken, the Xlix were an alien race who were bent on dominating the Earth until The Doctor intervened… Something about the Xlix being quite fond of Jammie Dodgers.

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Ah, lovely.  Panini is taunting me with these stickers.  “Shoulda bought the album!”  says the ghostly voice…  Interestingly enough, the taunting, ghostly voice has a New York accent.  Must be a ghost from my past… Why, it’s Old Man Smithers from the abandoned sports card store!  Now he’s muttering something about “meddling kids”.

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Oh, for…  OK, OK, I get it already! Next time I’ll buy the album!

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HEY!  It’s a shiny, shiny Aaron Rodgers, which is less exciting for being chrome-y and more exciting about being someone I can identify (and in my head there’s a guy wearing a Cheesehead, banging on a plate glass window and yelling “Rodgers!  Discount Double Check!!!!”)

…And by the way, one of the definitions of “cromo” offered by Google Translate is “colored print”, which I would guess is the definition meant for these stickers… but I suppose it might also work as a play on words because of the shiny stickers that could be viewed as chrome.  Anybody care to weigh in on that?

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An Eagle I don’t know… I’ll admit, I consider myself a faithful Steelers fan…  but I’m a terrible football fan.

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BenJarvus Green-Ellis!  One of my favorite names in the league. …For those of you who have seen the movie “Murder By Death”, BenJarvus Green-Ellis makes me think of “Jamesir Bensonmum”.

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Shiny Johnny Football!  I suspect that some sportswriter somewhere got burned misspelling “Manziel” too many times, and decided to call him “Johnny Football” instead.

These stickers were fairly large for stickers, and seem like they’d be fun to collect… but not for me. I’m still working my way through my 2014 Topps baseball factory set.


One thought on “Pack Animal! – 2014 Panini NFL Stickers

  1. Not for me. I will be picking up a few packs of FB flagship. Johnny Football didn’t look so good in last week’s game, everything off target. Not sure about his attitude either. He’s no Peyton Manning.

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