Gloriously Inept: The 1986 ProCards Tidewater Tides Set

[Behind the scenes during the creation of a 1986 Minor League set]

So, Kyle… What minor league team set are we working on next?

Oh, hey, Greg.  We’re working on… [shuffles papers] Tidewater.  Looks like they’re a Mets farm team.

OK, let’s get the template ready… Where’s the team logo?  I had it here just a minute ago, where did I put that damn thing?  Mets farm team, you said?  Ah, here we are.

Is that Tidewater?

Sure.  It says “Mets”, right?

Yeah, but I thought they were the Tidewater Tides.  Are those palm trees at the bottom?

Ummm…. I guess so.  Well they *are* in Tidewater, so there’s gonna be palm trees.

Where is Tidewater?

Florida, isn’t it?  Maybe near Clearwater?


OK, so who’s the first guy?  Um…. Ronald Gardenhire.

Gardenhire?  That name sounds familiar.  I think I saw a guy named Ron Gardenhire play in the Majors a year or two ago.  I wonder if he’s related to Ronald.

Whatever.  Next guy is David Madigan… no, wait, Magadan.

Man, they like that outfield wall.  Don’t they have anything more interesting than that in their ballpark?

Never mind that.  Who’s next?

Doug Sisk.  Hey, don’t you think we should crop these photos?

This is what the team sent us.  Maybe they wanted it that way.  If they wanted to have a closeup, the photographer would’ve stood closer.  Who’s next?

Terry Blocker.

Now, ya see?  He’s making like he’s catching a ball at the wall.  They *do* want it this way.

I guess…

OK, next up is Sam Perlozzo.

Geez, Greg… I think we should rotate…

KYLE?  What have I told you about thinking?

“We don’t get paid to think”.

THAT’S RIGHT.  OK, what’s this next guy’s name?  Terry Leash?

“Leash”?  I thought it was Leech, like the thing you can get on your legs when you wade into the river.

Naaaaaaah, pretty sure the guy said “Leash” on the phone.

OK, if that’s what he told you, then we’ll go with Terry Leash.

Where’s his info for the back of the card?

I thought you had it.

Aw, crap… Didn’t they send that.  Screw it, just leave the back blank.

OK, c’mon, c’mon, we’re almost done.  Next card is John Gibbons.  See, they moved closer to show the guy crouching

Is that the last card?

Nope, one more… Barry Lyons.

Hey, they do have a ballpark… but why doesn’t the outfield wall here match the other photos?

Let it go, Kyle… let it go.  It’s lunchtime…. You wanna do Mexican?

Yeah, OK.

This minor league set reminded me of the care and effort that went into making the film “Attack of the Eye Creatures” (as riffed on by Mystery Science Theater 3000). I put it to you, dear readers, that when it comes to the creators of this minor league team set:


11 thoughts on “Gloriously Inept: The 1986 ProCards Tidewater Tides Set

  1. That is a gloriously awesome team set. Also, I’m embarrassed to say this given how many episodes I have seen, but I don’t recall catching the Attack of the Eye Creatures episode of MST3K. Will have to add that to my watch list!

  2. Your behind-the-scenes dialogue is probably quite similar to the actual conversation. I mean, yeesh. Those photos. That Sam Perlozzo!

    Photos aside, though, I kind of like the card design.

  3. Ahh, ProCards, those scamps. In their Edmonton Trappers set that year, they have a player wearing a Trappers jersey and sweat pants. They’re the ones who blessed us with that famous Keith Comstock card a few years later.
    Now I’m going to have to pick up that set.

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